Mary Sue (Rejected Application Exemplar)

[Sparx]

MARY SUE

The Basics

Full Name: Mary Jane Sue
Gender: Otherkin
Sexuality: Pokesexual
Age: 50
Birth Date: February 30

What Do You Look Like?

Appearance: Mary is 5'3 and weighs only 80 pounds, even though she never diets and doesn't work out much. She has a perfect hourglass figure and beautiful pale skin that seems to glow in the sunlight. Even though she's fifty years old, she doesn't look a day over 17, which surprises her because she never does anything to look any younger.

Her hair is a shining light blonde and falls all the way to her ankles, but she keeps it perfectly styled and brushed with no tangles or split ends. Her eyes are big with long eyelashes, and though they're usually blue, they'll change color if she's feeling a particularly strong emotion, such as turning red when she's angry.

On her back, Mary has snow white wings that are completely functional and tuck neatly under her clothes when she needs to hide them.

Starter Outfit: Mary has a beautiful, elegant white dress that flows around her and is made of a material that never wears or tears. She never wears shoes because she believes to be a true Pokémon friend you must feel the same ground they walk on without any barrier. She has a small purse that carries a few other outfits for whenever she needs to wear a disguise because she's getting too much attention from her adoring fans.

Who Are You?

Likes: Pokémon, berries, trees
Dislikes: Humans, Team Flare, pokeballs
Fears: None
Goals: Teach humans to respect Pokémon and free them from pokeballs, become a Pokémon master, destroy Team Flare
Personality: Mary is a very kind girl with unlimited patience. She's very smart, and knows everything there is to know about Pokémon. No matter how mean someone is to her, she's always nice to them, and is very charitable to everyone she comes across. The only exception to this is members of team Flare, because she hates them and intends to punish all of them for her crimes. Everyone sees her as an angel, especially because of her wings, and she gets along with everyone. She is the true face of justice and peace, and knows right from wrong better than anyone.

Where Did You Come From?

Hometown: She was born in Parfum Palace.
Family: Most of her family is dead, except for her cousin, Lysandre. She is a direct ancestor of AZ.
Background: Mary Sue had a perfect childhood. She was at the top of her class in school, and everyone was her friend, even though she preferred to spend time with Pokémon instead of people. Mary always had a very special connection with Pokémon, and eventually learned how to communicate in their language, so she became the 'Pokémon whisperer'.

But then, when she was eight, Team Flare attacked the palace and killed everyone inside, except for Mary, who managed to escape by hiding in her pet furfrou's fluff. She was devastated by all the death and developed bipolar disorder and psychopathy because of the attack.

Since then, she's done her best to make the most of her situation, and spent her time in the forests of Kalos, surviving off of the wild with only wild Pokémon to help her. The Pokémon loved her and would never hurt her, and protected her from the humans she had grown to hate.

When she was thirteen, she met and befriended Xerneas, who recognized her as a true friend to Pokémon and granted her with the ability to transform into any Pokémon she wanted, even legendaries. This is why she usually has wings in her human form.

Now, she feels she has lived with Pokémon in the wild long enough, and has decided to start a proper Pokémon journey and become a trainer. Because of her time with wild Pokémon, she has already perfected the art of battling and expects to have no trouble becoming a Pokémon master.

[Dygii]

You have been DECLINED...

Here's why:

1. Your character must be human and identify as such. 'Otherkin' is not an acceptable identity.

2. Pokesexuality is illegal.

3. February 30th does not exist.

4. Since there is no logical reason for your character's eye colour to be able to change at will, please do not include such an ability in your application as it exceeds the abilities of normal humans. If you insist on her eye colour being able to change, consider a more understandable means such as the use of contacts.

5. Her appearance, in particular her weight and complexion, are highly unrealistic. Try adding flaws to her appearance--or if not flaws, at least making her more average as to better suit our universe (such as a heavier body weight or wrinkles to have her better fit her age).

6. Your character cannot have multiple outfits to begin, even if it is only mentioned that she keeps them in her purse.

7. You need at least FIVE likes/dislikes, and at least ONE fear.

8. Your character's personality is very flat. Having a character with absolutely no personality flaws makes them very boring and uninteresting to RP with, especially when they are skilled in every area they cover. Try spicing her up by giving her negative traits--on characters, they're not bad at all! Things like giving her a temper or an intolerance for certain behaviours (besides what Team Flare does)

9. While this is only a minor criticism, it's probably pushing it a little bit to introduce a character who hates Team Flare right off the bat, since immediately coming in, no character except Team Flare themselves know Flare's intentions. Remember, avoid your character knowing things they shouldn't rightfully know!

10. dear lord sparx are you actually gonna make me critique this entire thing

11. Please give a logical reason for your character to have been born in Parfum Palace, otherwise please select a regular city in the Pokémon world. 

12. As an OC, your character CANNOT be related to any canon characters. Canon characters can only be related to one another if it is stated in the games. Your character may admire Lysandre if you so choose (although I'm not sure why you would if she despises Team Flare) but any mutual relationships with other characters must be discussed with the mod ahead of time.

13. i'm not even gonna bother critiquing the backstory it's unrealistic and overdramatic that's all there is to it sparx you're a jerk

If you fix these, you are more than welcome to re-apply!
^{(just kidding don't re-apply ever again sparx get lost)}